Is it shit?

There’s just the sky above my head,
And I don’t know why it is gray.
None of my enemies is glad,
I want all them to go away.
I understand, they will not go.
They will be waiting for the time,
Like it was many years ago-
When girl was absolutely mine
This girl was me, but me inside
Well…I have lost her stupid way
And I don’t know why she decided
She’d make the beast die anyway.
She was upset and very weak
To fight against the cruel band
She was destroyed and very sick
And had no place to roam on land.
My dear friend told me to die
My Devil laughs again
And now I think it is the time
To play a little game:
This is a gun, this is my head,
My hand is holding gun
I don’t think it is very bad-
There is no way to run
What is the body’s death for you?
For me its only pain.
I know I did my only best
Just not to feel again.
All good is always killed by evil
All witnesses are deaf and blind
Somehow I can’t be killed by Devil
The way to run I can not find
Why cruel ones are still alive?
Why am I not like them?
I can not fly I can not dive
I can not hide from them
And now I’m sick and I’m destroyed
There’s just the sky above my head
It still be gray and wicked noise
I hear. My enemy is glad.
a poem